4
November 25th, Tuesday.
I didn't go to work in the morning the next day, I needed to rest since I didn't get a wink of sleep thinking about what had happened, I think Richard is right, as of today I'm going to change my way inside the office and try to get her away from me. Maybe it works.
I received an email from Byarn informing me that the project would be underway and soon the contract would be signed. It will be a great opportunity for me and for whoever will work with me.
As soon as I arrived at the office, I spoke to whoever I met on the way and sat down, looking directly in front of my desk at the left side of her body. She's been focused on something since the elevator opened and hasn't lifted her head yet, but it's me looking directly at her that her head turns to me and our eyes meet in that small distance of about 16 or 19 feet away. She smiles and lowers her eyes again, turning to face the computer.
I suppressed my lips in a thin line to keep from smiling too and turned to the computer.
- I can't and I shouldn't! – I spoke through gritted teeth to myself.
From now on I would be someone else, and I can't treat her badly just because it’s her, I'll have to be the bad-tempered boss with everyone, nobody will like it, but it will be necessary.
***
Deadlines will be shorter. Delays won’t be tolerated. Reports must be delivered when and on time I request them. Jokes with me? Not anymore, just between them.
Little by little it started to kills me, I'm not like that and it wasn't working at all, because every time I set a shorter deadline, or argued with someone about the tickets or delays, she was the one who took the lead in the work. leaving me more and more impressed by their professionalism and collegiality.
December 5th, Friday.
The company will close from December 22nd to January 5th so today we will have a meeting to let everyone know about our ongoing projects, open tickets and new projects.
I'm already in the living room waiting for everyone to arrive, sitting in the chair furthest from the door and closest to the air conditioning, with the computer in front, there's still twenty minutes to go before the scheduled time. In addition to my three Musketeers – Ana, Miguel and John – I have nine more employees with me, which makes us a relatively large team. I turn my chair slightly to face the large window on my right, and it's blazingly sunny outside.
Gradually the room starts to fill up and people talking to each other fill the sound of the room, which was silent before, I still don't turn my chair, I just look at the clock and wait for the meeting time, I notice that people come in talking, but when they realize that I'm already there, they lower their voices and as I don't turn around, I don't even get a “good afternoon”. Crap! At least the plan is working, I'm getting everyone away from me, except her out of my head.
At the appointed time, I turn to the table and speak to the person closest to the door:
- Juliano, can you close the door?
- Of course sir.
He gets up and when he's almost closing Ana appears pushing the door hard to get in last. She straightens up after the door opens, apologizes to Juliano and turns to me:
- Good afternoon sir, sorry.
I look at her, who has a blouse hanging over her left arm, a small bottle of water between her arms, clutching the computer to her chest and still holding her cell phone between her fingers, her face red from running here. I want to smile at her, but I can't.
- Good afternoon, Miss Gusmão. Just in time, close the door and please sit down.
Damn Louis, it didn't have to be so harsh! But now it's done.
To my bad luck the only vacant chair is beside me, after all, nobody wants to sit next to the boring boss. She crosses the room holding the computer in her arms and coming to my side, leans over to put things on the table and then has her free hand to pull out the chair. I can't be that indifferent to the situation.
I turn around and pull out the chair to help her sit down holding the water bottle that had nearly fallen between her arms.
- Thank you sir! - She answers me seriously without looking at me. Congratulations Louis, you managed to push her away for good! You don't even have a look anymore.
- You're welcome Ana!
I took a deep breath and looked at everyone in the room, who had their respective computers open and now waiting for me to say something since I was already standing.
- Good afternoon everyone. As you know, the company will close from December 22nd to January 5th so I want you to give me the status of all existing problems now. If there’s something very serious, the person responsible for it will continue working until it’s resolved, understood? That's why we're here, two weeks before the collective vacation so that it doesn't happen to anyone. I don't want anyone to work during this period!
The buzz started in the room and everyone had problems, the only three who didn't were Miguel, John and Ana, that's because I always gave them the worst cases. I really hope to solve everything, because if someone comes to work I have to work! And I really don't want to! But with two weeks' notice, I'm sure these people will race against time to get everything in order.
- Sir?
- Yes Ana...
- We can help the staff, just pass a few more tickets to our queue!
- Is not fair! – I spoke loudly and without thinking. That's not a manager's phrase!
She kept looking at me with those big almond eyes and I continued:
- But you're right again! We are a team.
She opened a sincere smile and I tried my best to hold mine, which closed into a side curve. I turned to my computer and got all the existing ticket listings and we were splitting it all up again among the twelve.
At five o'clock I dismissed everyone as I continued in the room checking my emails and my cell phone lights up with the arrival of messages:
Richard: Are you leaving on time today?
JP: It's with Louis right?
Richard: Of course it is! You can leave whenever you want.
JP: It's not like that either.
Richard: Louis?
Louis: I don't think so. A meeting just ended and I'm still checking my emails.
Richard: Have you seen Byarn's?
Louis: No, just a minute.
“From: Byarn.mol@tch.com
To: Louis.nurs@tch.com; Richard.sanches@tch.com; Carlos.santos@tch.com; jose.duarte@tch.com
Subject: Signed contract
Guys, good afternoon
It is with great satisfaction that I inform you that we have won the Recife account.
Now I need to know which of the four of you, to help me choose who will lead this project.
Until June of next year, I will need the full scope and the names that will be part of the team. Talk to each other and next week we will have a meeting to align the points.
The signed contract is attached. But this one, everyone already knows.
Good weekend,
Byarn Mol,
CEO Brazil"
JP: What is it?
Richard: JP, work thing.
JP: So why didn't you send a private message to Louis?
Richard: I sent the first group I had opened, now don't piss off.
Richard: Louis?
Louis: Fuck, it worked!
Richard: So I thought it wouldn't do.
Louis: What do you think?
Richard: That the name of the time is yours!
Louis: Me?
Richard: I just picked up a new client and I'm hardly in the office. Joe won't want it because of his daughter.
Louis: There's still Carlos.
Richard: Between someone married and someone single, who do you think goes to Recife?
JP: Recife?
Louis: You might be right.
Richard: Do you want?
Louis: Damn of course!
Richard: So memorize this contract for next week's meeting.
JP: Changing the subject, what are you guys doing this weekend?
Richard: Barbecues here at home, deal?
JP: Deal!
Louis: All right.
I leaned back in the chair smiling like I hadn't done in the office in a long time with my cell phone in my hand, so Ana knocks on the door and asks:
- Sorry sir, may I come in?
- Of course Ana, what can I help?
- About the tickets, it wouldn't be a problem if I sat down a little with the staff, right?
She came walking towards me as she spoke.
- Of course not! It would be a big favor.
- Thank you sir.
- Ana...
She turned to me, almost leaving, and placed her hand on the back of the chair that had previously been sitting beside me.
- Nevermind, you can go.
- Sure sir
You're an idiot Louis, just saying "thank you" won't hurt!
- Ana… – I called again and saw that she had forgotten the bottle of water on the table – Is this yours?
- Oh yeah, thank you!
She went back to get it, but before handing it to her outstretched hand I got up from the chair and leaned against the table, my back to the door and passed the bottle to my other hand, putting it back on the table. She looked at me confused and stopped in front of me.
- Thanks!
- For what sir?
She stretched out and grabbed the bottle that was beside me still looking at me quizzically at the simple word I had just uttered.
I saw her opened the bottle to take a sip, and I was transfixed looking at her parted lips as she slowly turned the liquid inside her mouth, at that exact moment her cell phone rings in her pocket, causing some of the water to trickle out of the corner of her mouth. She runs her fingers in a hurry to clean it up and puts the bottle in my hand taking the cell phone from her pocket. I looked at the clock, five-fifteen. Same time as usual, it must be an alarm clock.
Before returning the bottle, smiling I take a big swig of her water and return it to her hand:
- For everything, always. And for the water.
- You're welcome sir. Gotta go, good weekend.
- You too.
She left and I stood there, leaning against the table looking out the big glass window, watching the cars scurry back and forth as another day wore on.
It's not fucking working!
***
december 10th, wednesday
After the meeting with Byarn, I ended as the responsible for the Recife project, and I didn't have to make any effort for that since none of the three wanted to get him anyway.
- Louis, you will choose two names for this project and I hope they are your best employees! I don't want absolutely anything to go wrong with this project.
- Of course sir, I have three names in mind, I just have to choose between them.
Richard kept looking at me with a weird face and as soon as the meeting was over he came to talk to me:
- Tell me her name is not among the three!
- Of course it is! She is my best employee!
- And who are the other two?
- Miguel and John.
- Then take them both!
- But she's the best. Didn't you hear me?
-Are you listening to yourself?
I scratched my head and looked between his shoulders at the hallway that led to the pantry, the three of them were going together for coffee. He followed my gaze and put his arm around my shoulder saying:
- Louis. No!
- I know!
- Then why are you smiling?
- I'm not smiling!
- Yes you are.
- I thought about the bet...
- Nothing yet!
- Exactly.
- You're a romantic kid, that's it!
- No, I’m not. What if it's just desire?
- Maybe, now we started talking like a real dumb men, as I like.
- I feel something when I touch her...
- Lust?
- Speak the fuck down!
- Lust? – He repeated in a whisper and I laughed in agreement.
- Fuck! I feel like a lot of things.
- That's abstinence! You should go out with JP one of these days just to catch up.
- How’s my sister with you?
- I am a gentleman!
- I know what a gentleman you are!
- If I say that she likes, you'll be mad!
- Then don't say anything!
- That's why I don't!
- Then you could take that toothy smile out of your mouth too, right!
- My bad!
- OK...
- Tell me: Have you ever jacked off thinking about her?
- I don’t do that!
- So you're really dry since the carnival?
- Well...
- Well what? Explain to me once I couldn't understand these two pieces of information with your face.
- These days I dreamed of her...
- And you were doing...?
- Er...
- Damn Louis, your case is more serious than I was imagining!
I looked at the pantry door the three were going back to their desks, Richard slaps me on the head so I turn my attention to him and I look at him cursing:
- What was the shit?
- Do you think you have a chance?
- I do not know.
- Do you want to try?
- Perhaps...
- Okay. I'll support you in this one just because you're my friend, you need and she's really cute.
- What do you mean by that?
- That she's pretty, duh.
- I got this! - I glared at him - What do you mean by "I'll support you"...
- Go talk to her!
- I can’t. What language do I have to speak for you to understand?
- First make sure this shit isn't platonic, because it can even be reciprocated. You're not ugly either!
- What?
- I won't repeat that!
I laughed and walked towards the pantry. He came after me saying:
- What do you think?
- You want me to try to take her to bed!
- Yup.
- And if I can? How will I come to work afterwards?
- That's why you have to be sure! If she hasn't dated anyone until today, she must be a smart person not to mix things up.
- Smart she really is!
- Then go. Wait for the right time and attack!
- I don’t know.
- Do you want to fuck her or not?
- I do...
- Then that's it. Let's probe the territory first.
I agreed with him and it was the worst thing I could have done!
If before his curious eyes already invaded my thoughts even though I didn't want to, imagine now that I've decided that I wanted to. I looked at her and already imagined what it would be like under her dress clothes. Whenever I saw her drinking water, she would close her eyes a little before swallowing the liquid and then run her tongue over her lips and I would dream of her mouth on my body.
I woke up several times with these thoughts and had to get up to take a shower, but I never made the same mistake of taking a hot bath again. I would duck under the icy shower to clear my thoughts and my blood would return to normal and my heart would beat just the right rhythm.
Okay. Not always.
There were times when I came home straight to the hot bath, because as soon as I felt the water warm my body, the steam around me brought her smell and the silence of the bathroom mixed with my breathing and my most obscene imagination excited me. to the point of reaching orgasm just holding my hard body, no sudden movement was necessary. It didn't even have to be in the bathtub, sometimes just with the water running hot on my back and a hand leaning on the wall I exploded into my thoughts.
***
December 19th, Friday.
It arrived, the Friday so dreaded by everyone and thanks to the efforts of the entire team we had no urgent tickets or pending. Lucas and Guilherme will take turns during the recess period, to stop being muggles and not bet with something so serious.
They weren't very happy, because I made it clear that I didn't want to be bothered by the inability of one of them to answer some clients. I wasn't sorry for the two of them at all and they were scared to death of shit during that time.
Well after today, we'll see each other next year, on January 5th. I made sure to buy a box of candy for each of my employees with a Happy Holidays card. As Ana is the only female employee I have, no one could say anything when they saw that along with the gift there was also a red rose, on the card was written the same thing as for the others. Happy Holidays.
From a distance I could see John and Miguel mocking her for the flower, I turned my eyes to the computer laughing as I noticed her face turning towards me. A Flower, beautiful, soft, striking, unreachable.
Yes, I did it on purpose.
It doesn't matter what Richard said.
Even though I'm lying to him, saying it's just sex.
I won't lie to myself anymore, I've already admitted my insanity.
She I was going to have for myself and it wouldn't be just for one night!
Not even.
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